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Creepypasta Wiki:Deletion Appeal
__NOWYSIWYG__ Stories of a Madman Im requesting for my story to be re-uploaded, i understand the guidelines and my story follows them all, its a creepy story that isn't a spinoff has no clichès although the end may be a very small clichè but in its own matter, read the story yourself it should pass guidelines as perfect also whenever i post a pasta it gets deleted, no matter if its perfectly written or not, please help me understand why. Denied on the grounds of failing to complete the procedure to create an appeal. Please try again. --"You know why he's here? Why he's investigating the broken rules? He's not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it" (talk) 01:45, November 4, 2014 (UTC) :I had already started the appeal and to be honest, let's not make them re-do the appeal as this story doesn't meet the minimum Quality standards. Let me just copy/paste a few lines so we can go through step-by-step. :"Hello to anybody reading this (Period missing) My name is Michael Clinton, this story has nothing to do with anything you think you know(Period missing, additionally needs rephrasing) your (You're grammatically incorrect and uncapitalized) probably thinking(comma or colon missing.)" :From that snippet, you can see the large amount of punctuation (Periods and commas missing where needed. Apostrophes missing from contractions and words indicating possession.), grammatical, (it's=it is, its=possession, your=possession, you're=you are.) capitalization (The start of sentences is at times left uncapitalized, you fail to capitalize "I" a number of times, and at times you capitalize words in the middle of sentences that don't need capitalization.). :"I can't think straight (Period missing) i (Missing capitalization.) don't know what to do (Period or comma missing) i (Needs to be capitalized.) just have to keep writing, they stop momentarily when i (I) write but they're back now, ill (Needs capitalization and an apostrophe as it is a contraction.) end the story here, i (I) don't care if you read this(,) i just wanted to share this with who ever else cared, Goodbye (Goodbye doesn't need to be capitalized)." That is a large run-on sentence with multiple grammatical, capitalization, punctuation, and phrasing issues. :This story doesn't meet the bare minimum quality standards and the appeal is being denied. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:02, November 4, 2014 (UTC) My Favorite Show I request that my pasta be allowed a re-upload. I fully understand the site's minimum quality standards, but I didn't realize that all of my paragraphing would be undone when I pasted my story onto the new page. I did attempt one re-upload of a paragraphed version of the story, but at that time I was also was ignorant of the fact that this was not allowed. Despite this, I worked very hard on writing this one and I had always wanted to share it with the rest of the wiki, and for this reason I believe that my pasta should be allowed a re-upload, fully paragraphed and italisized when nessesary. Thanks, YaMamasMeatloaf (talk) 20:06, October 23, 2014 (UTC)YaMamasMeatloaf :Your story violates the Blacklisted subject rule that we have. Lost episode pastas are no longer allowed due to their typical cookie-cutter and cliched nature. You can take your story over to the spin pasta wiki if you are looking for a place to upload it. Before doing this however, I would recommend proof-reading it again as I saw a number of punctuation, grammatical (it's=it is, its=possession), and remove some of the cliches (Red eyes, ultra-realisting violence shown in the episode, etc.) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:11, October 23, 2014 (UTC) Plant Killer I re-uploaded, after I got some people telling what needed to be changed, it's been a few days and I was told I was more then allowed to re-upload my story. But I got a message saying it was against the rules? I felt very good about this story, is there something I need to do, like going into my "edited" section or what? Lilly R. Flint 19:52, October 26, 2014 (UTC)LillyRoseFlint :I mainly deleted it because it had an abundance of grammatical errors. Too many for passable. I need you to revise it, proofread it, and then re-upload it. But, it's not my choice if it gets appealed or not. Nommehzombies (talk) 19:55, October 26, 2014 (UTC) Shriker The Plague Dog Hi! I am here to request my story be put back up again after a few changes are made. I believe that I have fixed the errors that were in my story(the ones that I found out after my story was deleted and in the Writer's Workshop) and I wish to re-post my story with changes made. If I am allowed to put my story back up on this site, I would be very grateful. However, if the changes I make still don't fit the standards, I will understand and possibly keep trying to shape my story into what is tolerated here if I am allowed to. Have a nice day! :) Wolfa1 (talk) 16:44, October 27, 2014 (UTC)Wolfa1 Pass me the changes through a pastebin.com link, please. I'll check it. Until then, denied. --"You know why he's here? Why he's investigating the broken rules? He's not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it" (talk) 19:16, November 2, 2014 (UTC) Don't Test Me Hello. I am requesting an appeal on my deletion of Don't Test Me. What my story is, is a story inspired by the Nathan Dunlap murders at Chuck-E-Cheese. I used Nathan's name multiple times so that people would know that's what it was inspired by. I made everything accurate to what really happened, but twisted it a little to make it seem like an actual story and not a copy paste of the real story. If you want to review it, I put up a pastebin link for you to review: http://pastebin.com/vMLTgKUd Please take it into consideration as I think it's one of my better stories. Thank you. Sacrid7174 (talk) 19:05, October 27, 2014 (UTC) :Let's begin with the smaller issues and work our way up. When using numbers, it is better to write the word out as opposed to the number itself. (Unless it is in reference to time or higher than one thousand.) It is more formal and helps in situations where the numbers begin a sentence. "4 months later, 5" should be "Four month later, Five...) You also use the name Nathan a lot. I understand you are trying to hammer who he is to the reader, but twice in the same sentence is excessive. I would also recommend against starting sentences with conjunctions. (But, which, and, etc.) :Onto larger issues: there are a number of grammatical issues, (You're=you are, your=possession. "Your fired.") punctuation (Possessive words need apostrophes. "girl(')s bathroom", "restaurant(')s safe.". Additionally you overuse commas in sentences where a pause is not needed. "When Nathan walked into the kitchen, the cook tackled him, and started to repeatedly punch Nathan in the face." and "The cook who was cleaning the kitchen heard the shots, and prepared for Nathan's visit, by waiting by the door."), and wording errors. ("One of the employees who was wiping down tables who heard the shots, went to investigate." (redundancy with "who"), "When Nathan walked into the kitchen, the cook tackled him, and started to repeatedly punch Nathan in the face.", "Nathan and the cook had a wrestling match, as both people kept getting on top of the other.", "Nathan almost got (was) knocked out, but he remembered he had a gun, and shot the cook right in the jaw." You may also want to revise that sentence to exclude the portion about forgetting he had a gun as it seems a little odd.) :There are also some issues with the story, as it was based on true events, I know you want to keep as true to the story as possible, but his final line comes off as nonsensical. "Don't test me." What is his reason for saying this? You don't mention anything that may have provoked such a response. Finally while true events can sometimes raise the creepiness factor of a story, this really isn't one of those events. A man shooting up a restaurant after being fired is indeed a sad occurrence, but the story doesn't really play up on the pathos or give the reader an insight into his mind (what was going through it) when he shot up the place. As it stands, there are some quality standards issues with both the story and with grammar, punctuation, and wording that need revision before it is ready to be on this site. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:39, October 27, 2014 (UTC) The Judderman 'Ello there. I'm here because, of course, I'm wondering why my story 'The Judderman' got deleted. It is only loosely based off of a funny banned (I believe) Metz commercial based in Scotland (I believe), even though the story line is vastly different, so I honestly don't see how it could be deleted because of plagiarism, if that's the case. Welp, I dun see why I should write more, so I'm simply going to sign my user-name. IAmAnnoyed (talk) 22:29, October 27, 2014 (UTC) :This was probably one of the biggest disappointments I've run into so far, doing Deletion Appeal. You completely dragged me into the character's narrative, and built up the mounting tension in the journal entries wonderfully. It seemed even more real with the (Scottish?) dialogue. :So then, why was it a disappointment? The ending fell flat. And I mean flat. Let's look at the good stuff first though. :Here, we have a man and his friend starting a new chapter in their lives doing common jobs in a cold environment. The protagonist keeps a journal of his days in the icy mines. He finds this ancient hall with skeletal figures, paintings, goblets, the works. He, understandably, is unsettled and escapes. Loved what you were doing up to this point. :Now, the ending. Friend goes crazy, main guy hides from monster, monster kills main guy. The end. Really? There were so many ways you could've made the hair on my neck stand up if you would've expounded on the parts of the story that were great. You didn't. Hope isn't lost though. I would seriously consider gutting that ending and dragging us further into the world of the Judderman. Do it slowly. Do it deliberately. Then, leave us (the readers) wanting more. If you decide to heed my advice, post your revised copy in the Writer's Workshop for review. :Anyway, I loved where you were going with this, but feel that you should put more time and thought into it. :Mystreve (talk) 12:43, October 29, 2014 (UTC) The African Zombie Suit I'm not real sure on why it was deleted, but I did read over it and fix a few grammar mistakes though. I read the Quality Standards and still could not pin point the reason it was deleted. Thanks JFPouncey (talk) 23:47, October 28, 2014 (UTC) :It was deleted for quality standards. Here is a copy for reference: http://pastebin.com/qWvhfw3M Let's start with the smaller things and build-up. The format of the story was off, a few times you began a new paragraph with a sentence incomplete and continuing on the new paragraph. The use of ellipses is generally reserved for omitting words in a quote or indicating a pause in dialogue. Using it in a written account seems a bit kitschy/melodramatic. Additionally Time magazine should be in italics as that is the proper titling method. :Onto larger problems, a number of times you didn't use apostrophes to indicate possession. ("Writer(')s note" and "human(')s face".) and wording issues. ("...feeling uneasy as each step I took caused the sound of bones to crack under my feet." (...caused the sound of bones cracking under my feet.), "I was already knee-deep into the woods. (period not needed) and could see an old worn down wooden stadium deep in the midst." (Using the phrase knee-deep doesn't really work in this situation, you can be knee-deep in the thickets/weeds, but in the woods themselves implies that the trees only reach your knees.), "My first thought was that those teenagers where(were) pulling a prank on me...", "...his eyes(sic) sockets were rotting black...") :Plot issues: "I've traveled the world, snapping some of the best cultural photos imaginable." (Saying that, but not giving examples of cultural events the protagonist attended weakens the statement.) "...it sent shivers down my spine when I saw there were bits of human flesh sewn onto it, making up a spitting image of a human(')s face." (Flesh being sewn into a mask to form a spitting image of a face doesn't really work, why not say a mask made of flesh? It seems circular.) "All that ended when I got stuck in these woods, back in 1996. I've lost track of time now so I won't be able to tell you when I wrote this, or if I'm still here. What I can tell you though is how I got stuck here. So let's start from the beginning." Why is he writing about this now and how is he still stick (and alive) in the woods? I know he randomly passes out ("...thing I could remember before passing out." From shock?) in front of the creature, but what is preventing his exit from the woods/jungle? (If it's the creature, you need to be more specific about how it's impeding/preventing his escape.) To make this short, the story was marked for review as another admin thought it was a candidate for deletion and wanted a second opinion. I read it, saw the issues I listed about and deleted it for not meeting quality standards due to grammatical, punctuation, wording, and plot issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:17, October 29, 2014 (UTC) A Feeling Hi. Just wondering why it was deleted after i fixed the format errors. Redwinterx (talk) 18:06, October 29, 2014 (UTC) :Looking over your story, I can't help but draw comparisons to the creepypasta Psychosis. Both characters begin to isolate themselves and believe that an entity is taking the form of their loved ones and trying to lure them outside. The ending is even similar. The similarities in plot do not shine a favorable light on your story. (Especially considering that Psychosis was a lot more fleshed out, descriptive, and used tension more effectively.) :However, if we were to ignore those similarities, there are still a number of issues with quality. Let's begin with the smaller stuff, don't begin sentences with conjunctions (But, which, and, etc. "Then I went over to my couch and turned on the T.V. I only get one channel down here; ...", "But I was smarter.", etc.). It makes the story flow appear choppy and disjointed. There are also punctuation issues: "Oh, God, I can(')t stop hearing It scream in frustration(,) masked by fake terror.") :The journal format is a staple in creepypastas, but authors tend to try to jump into the horror too soon. The protagonist devolves within two entries which make the story feel rushed. (Also it seems coincidental that the day he begins writing is when things start going bad for him.) Then there is the protagonist removing his eyes on day 17, but continuing to write journal entries despite being blind. All in all, the story is very similar to Psychosis, but has a number of issues involving conjunction, punctuation, plot advancement, and story issues. This appeal is denied for the reasons listed above. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:02, October 29, 2014 (UTC) Unnamed Untitled Story My story was wrongly accused for whatever. My story is not a spinoff. It is a great story you should consider :Automatically denied for not following the appeal rules outlined above. DO that and we can proceed from there. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:57, October 30, 2014 (UTC) Miss Jackson Hello, I ask that my story be re-uploaded because i checked and it met all of the rules...i dont see why it was taken down...it has proper grammar and it isnt too long. Pllease explain or think about re-uploading it. :Let's start with the minor issues and build out way up. The snippet of lyrics at the start of the story should be separate from the story itself. If you are going to use colloquialisms like: kiddin. You should attach an apostrophe to replace the dropped letter. I would also recommend not starting a sentence with a conjunction like: but, because, and; as it gives the story a choppy feel and isn't technically an acceptable way of beginning a sentence. Additionally the story needs to be broken up as it was basically two large paragraphs, which is hard to read in this format. Additionally dialogue should begin a new line and each speaker constitutes a new line. :Onto the larger issues. There are some grammatical issues: it's=it is, its=possession, you're=you are, your=possession. Additionally there were quite a few punctuation errors. A majority of the dialogue is missing commas ("Whoa(,)" Reyna gasped(,) "this place is creepy...") You are missing apostrophes from contractions ("...she couldn(')t see"), you overuse ellipses and weaken their effectiveness (Fourteen times in two paragraphs, sometimes twice in the same sentence.), and capitalization issues (as seen below). :Onto the story itself, there are quite a large number of Cliches here. ("Her eyes now black instead of white and pupils red instead of blue.", "ThAnK yOu ReYnA.", "Her last shred of humanity allowed a single tear.... But not of real tears.... Of blood." Let's tackle this one at a time. Black eyes with red pupils has become overused in stories, it's commonplace. Writing in alternating caps makes no sense. (Is she over-pronouncing every capitalized letter?) Finally crying tears of blood is another cliche that is in way too many stories already. I suggest looking over the list for more cliches. This story didn't meet Quality Standards. Do not reupload it. I would suggest visiting the writer's workshop next time before uploading a story for more in-depth feedback. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:18, October 31, 2014 (UTC) 538 I don't know why my story was deleted in less than a minute, It was short, but I checked the rules and I did not see anything that broked the rules. Asdke (talk) 22:52, November 1, 2014 (UTC)Asdke :Your story was deleted as it failed to meet Quality Standards There are a number of capitalization ("The School had numbered rooms...", "The Teachers were mean too.", "But they never did Death threats."), punctuation (commas missing when a pause in a sentence is needed, periods missing from abbreviated words "Special Ed"), grammatical ("But, the students we're(sic) some of the nicest people I meant."), wording issues ("Even go to place like Wal-Mart I see it, ") and run-on sentences ("I told my parents and they have always joked about it, even today I am 25 and still this scares me, and if you were wondering, yes, '''this is a true story. '''Even before I post this I want to say the time where I like is 5:38 pm.") Additionally, don't begin sentences with conjunctions like but, and, because, which, etc. :The story also had some pretty severe problems. How is this a creepypasta? There was no reason given about why the number "538" is sinister to the protagonist. The story is just the protagonist noticing a number of coincidences and then saying "this is a true story." This story does not meet quality standards and the appeal is being denied. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:51, November 2, 2014 (UTC) Cliffhanger My original "Cliffhanger" creepypasta was deleted after I re-uploaded it as paragraph formatting became an issue. I deleted the previous page, and reformatted the new one, which was promptly deleted. I believe the actual content of the story is unique and its unfortunate that my first story has to be taken down by a simple error. When I tried to edit my first page to fix the formatting errors, I was prompted with a white box telling me that the page had been deleted. Please, I'm new to this, so any tips for uploading in the future will be helpful as well. Don't just hit me with a strike. I'm going to post the story below in this appeal in case it cannot be recovered otherwise. :Let's start slow with some of the more minor issues and build up to the larger ones. Looking at your story in editor mode, it looks like this: :"Looking back, they did it out of sheer terror. The fear that :clenched them could not have been matched. In this world, or in the next. I can’t even imagine being in that position. What would become of me? I don’t know if it was the best option, but that’s the way it turned out." You also use ellipses a lot (15+ times) which really dulls their effectiveness. Ellipses are typically reserved for pauses in spoken dialogue and omission of words from a quotation. Excessive and improper use weakens the flow of a story. Also numbers should be written as words to appear more formal (Except in instances of time, mathematical formulas, and larger numbers about one thousand.). :Onto some of the issues I found in the story. There are wording errors. ("Some relationships (were) torn because of money and job opportunities, others of (from) jealousy and hate.", "If (an) officer catches you,", I found capitalization (“Check. Check. And ©Check.” (Quotation needed?)This is going to be one easy night ladies.(Quotation?) Exclaimed the head patrol officer, Officer Bradley, through...") punctuation (Commas lacking where needed. "“Stinson(,) are you there?” / ""Goddammit Stinson(,) do you copy!?" And a misplaced colon. ""Stinson!”:" (Colon not needed.). :All in all, I think the story can be good, which is why I am recommending you take this to the writer's workshop for some assistance with some of the errors and feedback on what needs improvement in the plot. The overall story is interesting but it is weighed down by the wording, punctuation, and capitalization issues. I hope you re-work this story and resubmit to deletion appeal as there are few stories I have reviewed here that I think can be great read, but it needs some revision to be brought up to quality standards EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:04, November 6, 2014 (UTC) Kathy Okay, so I posted this Creepypasta which I wrote for my friend. However, as I forgot some of the formatting, it was deleted. Although it's admittedly not very good, I would like a second chance to post it, although I will understand if this is denied. Boadicea the Warrior Queen (talk) 18:54, November 2, 2014 (UTC) :Looking over the story I can see quite a few issues. We'll start with the small things and build up. First things first, the format on the story needs work. Instead of trying to space the dates out to the center of the page, you should just make each entry a section using this template Diary Entry . I would also recommend against starting sentences with conjunctions like and, but, because, and which as it technically isn't correct grammatically. Additionally, writing in journal format comes off odd as there is little to no introduction for the protagonist. :I notice a couple of spacing issues (mentioned above) and throughout the story. "She comes in my dreams ." (No space needed), "I can much less use the bathroom, which even more reminds me of his suicide, especially since I..." There are punctuation issues. (commas lacking where a pause in the flow of the sentence is needed. Also I would recommend cutting out the use of ellipses for dramatic effect. They are typically reserved for indicating pauses in dialogue or an omission of words from a quote. (As seen above.) There are also some grammatical issues. :And some plot issues. The journal entries could use some fleshing out. The entry on the twenty-first mentions checking in on Matt, but the entry on the 22nd contains the event that the protagonist mentioned when he checked in on Matt. "They sewed her mouth shut to prevent her from communicating manually, restrained her, and put her on drugs." What drugs specifically? Even if they are just listed as something experimental that detail is pretty important. Additionally drying blood is a bit of a Cliche and it isn't explained why she is crying blood. "Probably just a placebo-whatever thingy." That's an odd explanation for hallucinating, especially since you make no mention of the protagonist taking any medicine. (Also a placebo effect really makes no sense in the context.) The protagonist has little to no emotional response to the death of his friend. He mutilates himself in front of him and the protagonist doesn't even make mention of it's effect on him. Then there's this "If this shows up online, I’ll be dead." Why is he setting this elaborate posting system up? Why isn't he just posting it regularly? (It seems odd especially since he is cataloguing all of these events to not bother uploading it. I agree with Chapeist Jamés decision to delete this on the grounds of not being up to Quality Standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) New York Slum Hello, my story got deleted the first time I uploaded it because it was a huge wall of text, I fixed the problem and fixed the ending.i'm here so my story can get back up. Thanks Pastebin:http://pastebin.com/j4Ag33Ha BruilinGulabaith (talk) 03:25, November 3, 2014 (UTC) :Your story was never deleted for being a wall of text, looking over it, the story was deleted for not meeting quality standards. I can see a number of spacing errors ("The building as you can imagine looked dreadful,one" Not spacing after commas.), "One look at the super and you would instantly tell that this is (was) the building he took care of, he smelled, he had bag under his eyes;emitted(sic) a creepy aura and despite himself being poor, he always looked well fed." Run-on sentence and some wording issues.) punctuation goes inside of quotation marks in dialogue and dialogue should be spaced to a new line. ("Leave". "L-LEa-vVE".", "All right, I'll inspect it"." Additionally apostrophes are needed for words that indicate possession. "devil(')s instruments." / "radiators(') loud sounds." / "super(')s room"), and some wording errors ("...atmosphere turned life-threatening and crude." How did it turn crude? "...but to(sic) hesitant;too(sic) scared to expose his body." Too hesitant.) There are capitalization issues as well ("i'll(sic) fix it".") :Then there's the issue with the twist ending that the super is eating his tenants. It really wasn't foreshadowed at all despite the comment about looking well-fed. What does the radiators' messages have to do with the super's cannibalism. Why is he cranking the heater up? Additionally the capitalization in "L-LEa-vVE." is a bit Cliche and nonsensical. (Do the capitalized letters mean over-enunciation?) The story has quite a few issues with punctuation, capitalization, wording, and plot issues. It really isn't up to quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 05:17, November 3, 2014 (UTC) My Trip To The Circus Hello. I'm KreepyMooNer. I created a creepypasta called My Trip To The Circus. I spent hours working on it and I really thought you would enjoy it. It was up for like 3 minutes when it was deleted. I am really annoyed that I spent so long and worked so hard on this and nobody even got to tread it! Can you please undelete the story "My Trip To The Circus" by KreepyMooNer. I worked really hard on it and used around 2 hours on it! Thank you! --KreepyMooNer (talk) 01:32, November 4, 2014 (UTC) KreepyMooNer :The story was originally deleted for quality standards issues. We'll begin this review by the smaller issues that were present and then build up. First, the original story was basically one large paragraph which is very difficult to read. Numbers should also be put in words and not numerals (unless specifically talking about time or large numbers over one thousand.) Additionally dialogue should be its own separate line and each new speaker constitutes a new line. :There were quite a bit of punctuation, (commas missing where a pause is denoted in the sentence flow. Apostrophes missing from words denoting possession. "The girl squeezes the clown(')s nose...", "The knife stabs right into the kid(')s torso...") spelling/typos ("It spelt (sic) like wonderfully(-)made hotdogs."), you shift from past tense to present in the story with no explanation/reason, and wording issues. ("I always dressed my father up in clown outfits.", "I see the faces of mentally disturbed clowns stomping about on people and kids.", "Then everything else is blacked out. " :Additionally the ending needs quite a bit of work. "My trip to the circus has turned me intro (sic) what once was my favorite thing. But now it is my worst enemy." You really shouldn't start a sentence with a conjunction like: and, but, which, because, etc. Additionally worst enemy seems out of place. Maybe this would be less melodramatic. "My trip to the circus has turned what were once my dreams into my worst nightmare." As you can see, there are quite a number of issues here that bring down the overall quality of the story. I am turning down this appeal and recommending you take your next story to the writer's workshop for feedback before posting so you can get more in-depth assistance. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:16, November 4, 2014 (UTC) Icy Whispers With this message i hereby request that my story get's reuploaded. I am well aware of the minimum quallity requirements and respect these. I am aslo aware that one of my paragraph tags was showing... i have now fixed this. http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:393598 i tried very hard on this first story. Kind Regards, --Fardolith (talk) 14:25, November 4, 2014 (UTC) :I'll begin this critique by focusing on the smaller things and build on that. The story has some coding issues that could be removed if you used source mode when posting the story. Also you use ellipses quite a bit (20 or so times.), which really weakens their effectiveness. Typically ellipses are reserved for pauses in dialogue and omission of words from a quote. Additionally, you shouldn't begin a sentence with conjunctions like: which, but, because, and, etc, as it gives the story a choppy feel and also isn't grammatically correct. Finally, you really shouldn't capitalize every word in shouted dialogue when italics do the same thing. :Onto the larger problems, there are quite a bit of punctuation (Commas and periods lacking from spoken dialogue. "”Aiden(,/.)” It whispered. “you are meddling in affairs that are not your concern(period missing.)”", ”I didn’t mean to!” I wanted to scream but I just couldn’t(.) “©curiosity got the better of me!”, “(M)maybe a cigarette will calm me (period/comma missing)” I said.". There is punctuation put outside of spoken dialogue. “I can’t remember walking into this alley”. "©come on(.)" she said. "Let's go home"."), capitalization (A number of words are capitalized that shouldn't be: "Unknown", "Occult", "What's Wrong(sic) Aiden?", "...Thing, that Monster...". The first word in a sentence should be capitalized. "(W)while I was thinking that, the windows of my bedroom began to freeze", "My eyes opened. (I)it was Cat!". Also the first word in dialogue should be capitalized as seen above. :The story shifts from past tense to present tense a number of times throughout the story. (Mainly towards the conclusion.) There are additionally words missing from sentences. "When my parents were first coming to Australia (They?) had to get acclimated to the weather here.", "One day I didn’t have to go to work so I (decided I) would check Cat’s room.", "Then from the mists, Cat rises(rose) with eyes as blue as the sky, her skin as white as snow. (H)her limbs (were) not moving." Additionally the conclusion needs quite a bit of re-working. "Please Protect (sic) yourself from all that is (u)Unknown!" That ending comes off as pretty anticlimactic. The narrator escapes from his sister and then goes to shamans (who haven't been mentioned before and come across as a bit Deus ex machina.) and learns to hide from her. There needs to be a bit more resolution. :As you can see, there are quite a number of issues here that need re-working. I am glad you have been using the writer's workshop to improve the quality of the story. (Looking at both entries, it has made improvements by leaps and bounds) However, in its current state, it isn't up to quality standards so this appeal is being denied for now. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:02, November 4, 2014 (UTC) Don't Come Back I had my pasta deleted due to an unspecified failure to meet quality standards. After receiving some feedback I decided t essentially rewrite the whole thing and generally improve the story (in my opinion). I posted the rewrite here: http://pastebin.com/m8k76EjK and was wondering if this was now a good enough story to post (and if not why not :P). Pasta was Don't Come Back --Robzy (talk) 21:03, November 5, 2014 (UTC)